Game of Throne Recap: The Watchers on the Wall

I’ve read the books, but I don’t think anyone reads this bit anymore and I bet if it’s about the same amount of words no one will be able to notice the difference for this episode though, duh.

I felt they did a much better job with the entirety of the fight scenes in this episode than the previous duel between Oberyn and the Mountain. I may have even liked this episode more than the Blackwater episode. Despite what I write here, I really do love this show. On with the recap.

who dat snowSeriously, does anyone else notice this guy in the corner?


snow and pork Enhance! Yup, there’s a guy there. I thought they were bonding alone atop the wall, I was wrong.
Sam – “What was she like?”
Jon – “She had red hair.”
That pretty much sums her up. I think they missed an opportunity to say she was kissed by fire though.
Sam – “How big were her feet?”
Sam with the foot fetish out of nowhere. You know what they say about wildlings with big feet? I don’t know, can someone fill me in?
“How was it like?”
Pretttay pretttaaaay good, like warm apple pie. What could he actually say though? Stop with these awkward questions Sam.
“You’re the closest I’ll ever get to knowing.”
Jon removes shirt and they start doing it, H-B-O! I’m sure he’ll get plenty of chances of getting to know, like in a couple of minutes when he discovers Gilly alive.
Sam is just making this conversation so awkward Jon considers jumping off the wall to get out of it. Jon asks if Sam and Gilly ever did anything, but Sam protests, saying Gilly just had a baby. Yeah not seeing an issue here. She also never offered. Oh honey.
Jon – “But if she did offer, would you have broken your vows?”
Sam – “Well technically I’m not breaking my vows if we only bang.”
Lawyered.
That Jon Snow guy really does know nothing. Jon tries to explain sex to Sam, which turns out to be a lot tougher than explaining where to put it.

I assumed the wildlings were using fake owl calls to signal to each other when they slaughtered everyone in Molestown, but it may have been an actual owl seeing as they have this warg using an owl. ygritte attowMaking Gilly recognizing that owl call last episode seem a little ridiculous if it was an actual owl making the call. The longer they wait the more arrows Ygritte will have. Looks like she’s only sharpening them to me, where are these extra arrows coming from? You have a finite supply there Ygritte. She then goes on to ruin one of the best stories in the entire book, not cool. I don’t care how heartbroken she is, maybe we want to hear about the bear that Tormund fooked. I can see why Jon broke up with Ygritte. Here’s the story word for word from the books, enjoy.

Tormund – “The woman had a terrible temper, and she put up quite the fight when I laid hands on her. It was all I could do to carry her home and get her out o’ them furs, but when I did, oh, she was hotter even than I remembered, and we had a fine old time, and then I went to sleep. Next morning when I woke the snow had stopped and the sun was shining, but I was in no fit state to enjoy it. All ripped and torn I was, and half me member bit right off, and there on me floor was a she-bear’s pelt. And soon enough the free folk were telling tales o’ this bald bear seen in the woods, with the queerest pair o’ cubs behind her. Har!” He slapped a meaty thigh. “Would that I could find her again. She was fine to lay with, that bear. Never was a woman gave me such a fight, nor such strong sons neither.”
“What could you do if you did find her?” Jon asked, smiling. “You said she bit your member off.”
“Only half. And half me member is twice as long as any other man’s.” Tormund snorted.

This story, along with Tormund being a lot more jovial in the books, is the reason why all the book readers love this guy. I’m disappointed the show writers made him into a much more serious character because he’s not like this at all in the books.

Big bald leader Styr looks exactly like everyone else in this ranging party, so most of the time throughout the battle I had no idea what he was doing. Styr calls out Ygritte for not killing Jon Crow. Ygritte argues that she probably killed him already, but if she didn’t then she’s going to hang his fun bits around her neck, run Jon Snuuuw! She didn’t forget her threat all the way back when they climbed the wall together. Honestly Ygritte I think all of these wildlings were thinking about your ginger minge, especially since you’re the only girl in this raiding party, and you’re a total babe. She gives the cliché “only I can kill this guy” speech. Did Gilly really have to walk that close to these guys? More than half the guys in this photo seem to be staring in that direction and no one noticed her…not smart Gilly.

gilly close

Hey did you guys know that Sam is a big nerd? Let’s have a scene with him in the library just in case we haven’t hammered that message across yet. Sam is apparently reading up on wildling rumor books to psych himself up to be more scared. I think Maester Aemon became blind of old age and not through any external injury, which is crazy to believe in this universe. Even now Maester Aemon can see right through him.
Sam – “I don’t love her.”
He’s just trying to hit it and quit it.
aemon creepAemon – “Yes you do, I could hear the love in your voice the night you introduced her to me.”
Who is this guy? Elton John? Cause he could feel the love that night…moving on.
“I was in love once, back when I could see.”
About century ago give or take a decade.
Aemon could tell Sam every last detail of the girl he once loved years ago, the color of her eyes, the shape of her nose, and I’m sure many other shapes of her body as well. I’m guessing this old man’s imagination is pretty vivid. Nothing makes life taste sweeter than the prospect of imminent death. I didn’t see Aemon fighting out there during the upcoming battle, maybe he just stays in this library? In the corner of this dark library just sitting on the floor curled up in a ball…Aemon feels the heat from the candle and blows it out.

pyp squeekSam runs into Gilly shortly after leaving the library and Pyp opens the gate after Sam says profanities at him. Gilly is mad at Sam, but he assures her that anyone who tries to throw her out will have to go through him. Well the one that had  “thrown her out” previously was him, I don’t think anyone was forcing her to go to Molestown other than Sam. So he’ll have to go through himself?
Sam – “Wherever you go, I go too.”
He ditches her 5 minutes later…
I don’t understand why Gilly went to the wall when she knew the wildlings were going to attack. Wouldn’t it be safer to stay in Molestown? They left her alive but then she decides to go to their next target, god damn it Gilly. Sam leaves Gilly in the pantry, with the state of the art defense like a wooden door. If Gilly was smart, she isn’t, and the Night’s Watch ended up losing this fight she should pretend she was being held prisoner. But if she were truly smart she wouldn’t be in this situation. Apparently they did kill everyone in Molestown, I was being a little sarcastic when I said that in my last recap. lazy eyeHarsh wildlings. I never noticed Sam’s lazy eye before…Sam tells Gilly that he’s a man now and kisses her for 10 seconds. Not bad for a first kiss Slayer. I promise you I won’t die cliché. Well that worked out so well for Oberyn so this can’t go wrong!

Jon promised Sam that he’d watch the wall, but is surprised to see the forest burning and some other guy blowing the horn, that’s why that guy was up there!, while he was off just not doing his job. I mean it’s a cool establishing shot sure, but seriously, what was Jon doing?! Only you can prevent forest fires. Not safe Mance, and Smokey doesn’t approve. Did the wildlings really need to send a warged owl up there to spy on them if they could just listen for a horn? I feel like the horn would help both parties here… The glow from the burning forest in the sky shouldn’t have come out of nowhere either, nobody saw that before the warg alerted them?  When did all these Night’s Watch guys get up there? It sure seemed like it was just Sam, Jon, and that other guy just a little while ago. 1 horn blast means brothers returning. 2 horn blasts mean a wildling attack. 3 horn blasts mean the Others are attacking. I heard 4 horn blasts and counting, what does that mean? The horns are still going off…how is anyone supposed to understand what the horn blasts represent?

Pyp should be scared, he’s going to die in this episode. Pyp isn’t scared in the books, however, and him and the rest of the brothers are the ones encouraging Sam. How did Sam manage to kill a White Walker you ask? A dragonglass dagger helps, which he dropped!, and that’s about it. Sam tells Pyp that he didn’t have a choice because the White Walker would’ve killed Gilly and taken her baby…I’m not so sure the White Walker was the bad guy in this scenario after the episode earlier this season. Gilly’s baby could have been a White Walker, now it’s stuck being with Sam.
Sam – “When you’re nothing at all, there’s no more reason to be afraid.”
Looks like Sam took the same intro to Philosophy class as Arya.

no way eagle eyeYgritte somehow is able to see how fat Sam is from this distance, she was also able to tell that there were only about 20 men manning this part of the garrison. Why aren’t they using the owl to scout you ask? First they presumably use fake owl calls in Molestown, then he alerts them of Mance’s clearly visible signal earlier, and now they don’t even need this guy to scout seeing as Ygritte has better vision than Superman. I think they asked him to send the owl to the top of the wall just make him feel like he’s part of the gang…Styr asks her how high the walls are, are you trying to tell me they didn’t scope out this place at all?! It’s literally right over that hill 10 ft away from them. Both these parties seem ill prepared. I’m glad Tormund extinguishes the fire before they start the attack, they don’t want to start 2 fires. He demonstrates proper fire safety management that Mance clearly doesn’t posses.

Janos Slynt isn’t helping the men prepare for battle and the viewer is supposed to look down on him because of that.
Jon – “Come on let’s get the next load.”
Doesn’t get next load.
He’s just as bad as Slynt!

alliser and snow

Alliser admits to Jon that they should have sealed the tunnel and goes on to actually make me like his character. I think Jon starts to like Alliser too. Alliser was always a tough man, but I think he had to be a cunt all the time because he was given trash and had to turn them into usable pieces. I mean he’s still an asshole, but at least he takes his job seriously when it matters the most. I still think he was a terrible leader preparing for this battle, but at least he’s a lot better than Slynt. Alliser tells Jon to never second guess himself because that’s the moment when you’ve lost the ability to make decisions as a captain. After everything is done they can go back hating each other. The wildlings come out of the forest and start screaming, well I’m pretty sure none of the brothers on the wall heard them, but I’m sure it’s pumping everyone on the ground up. The CGI budget can only afford one mammoth! At least we got to see 2 giants as well. alliserGrenn drops a barrel by accident, but it’s okay because he kills a giant later on. Alliser gives some great inspirational words that would make the Hound and every Aussie proud, but giving the wall to Janos Slynt shows that he’s still not a smart man. They seem to be able to distinguish between the horn blasts that have been going off all episode and this “new” one. The new horn blast tells them that they’re getting attacked from the south. I don’t think this horn system is very effective, but somehow it works for them. Also it appears like these guys are really surprised about this “second” attack. Who would have thought that they would attack at the same time! That’s like unfair! This isn’t how it happened in the books, so I guess it’s okay for them to be surprised. Instead of the Craster’s Keep ranging in the show, the raiders attack at about that time in the book. Why wasn’t this place in full battle mode before this? They knew the raiders were coming, they were at Molestown last episode and they knew they were next. Maybe if Gilly had warned them that there was a wildling party a stones throw away from them they could have been more prepared, but this is still on them.

Why not just fire arrows at the raiders coming from south of the wall? You know, the side that had a legitimate shot of causing some serious damage because you don’t have a 700 ft wall to defend you on that side. That’s the side you guys should be concentrating on. Throwing rocks near the gate is probably all you need to do from the north side of the wall, which they fail to do effectively even.

Tormund and Styr are leading the pack, but neither of them get hurt. Seriously there’s no point in lighting these arrows on fire, but then again I’m guessing all logic went out the window when everyone decided to not wear helmets. Movie logic, add fire to arrows so it looks cooler when characters shoot them. Ygritte lights her arrows really fast, I guess she’s using fire from an arrow shot at her…she also gets the 1st kill. I always thought the 102 men on the wall thing was bogus, and I’m going to try to count how many brothers actually get killed. Alliser heads on down to continue ranking up his badass points, but not before yelling out one more badass order. I love how the cocky wildling gets shot last. By the sheer volume of arrows shot alone, it seemed to be around 100 in that first volley, there are way too many men up there and way more than 102 men total. I mean it’s raining down fire arrows and the 5 named characters aren’t even holding a bow. Ygritte kills 2 men from her archery “post”, which is her just kneeling on the ground, and is even able to dodge a couple arrows because she can see them coming, they’re on fire! Thanks for alerting me where to dodge. sam and fire and oulAnother guy dies in the background. That torch and that jar of oil seem way too close to each other, fire hazard dude. Don’t be Mance. Be a Tormund.
Pyp – “I fhink we’re gonna die.”
Sam – “If you keep missing we will.”
It looks like Sam is reloading while Pyp fires the crossbow, is there any reason why they both can’t shoot? Is this really the most effective method? Can I be the crossbow loader? Pyp’s the one risking his neck out there, not Sam. Another guy dies defending the wooden gate, that’s 5 so far!
So are you telling me that kid sends that elevator 700 ft up this ice wall all day? There’s not an easier way to do this? Alliser continues to be a badass once he gets to the bottom.
Alliser – “Do you want to fill the belly of a Thenn tonight?”
Um, no.
“Tonight we fight, and I promise you when the sun rises Castle Black will stand!”
It’s always darkest before the dawn, but I promise you, the dawn is coming!
“With me now, with me now brothers!”
He leads the charge, and I have goosebumps. I’m sure a couple of guys have died in this initial skirmish, but I only saw 3 men “officially” killed on-screen.
Tormund then kills 3 more men after climbing over and Pyp and Sam flee at the perfect time to not have any of the named characters meet off too early.
I have the kill count at 11. That’s more than 10% lost in the first couple minutes of battle.

Damn, I know that Janos Slynt was a blockhead, but he wasn’t this incompetent in the books. I mean how hard is it to command the Night’s Watch to fire arrows and drop barrels on people attempting to open the gate? Like can you actually be that stupid? He then goes on to deny the existence of giants when they’re literally right there. I get that they’re on top of a 700 ft wall, but those giants should still visibly stand out, especially compared to the normal sized people down there. Slynt may actually be this stupid or he switched eyes with Maester Aemon. It gets worse though, Grenn lies to Slynt and tells him that he’s requested down below, and for some reason Slynt thinks going down below, where raiders are currently attacking and killing people by the handful is safer than staying atop a 700 ft ice wall that normal arrows can’t even reach the top of. There are just so many things wrong with his logic. When he does get to the bottom, he immediately goes to the pantry to protect Gilly. What a swell guy.

arrow to the headA couple dozen climbers try to climb the Wall and the Night’s Watch use some elaborate pulley system to position themselves in a way where they can shoot arrows directly down, which is a pretty terrible decisions all around. This person would not be falling that long, they’ve been climbing for maybe 5 seconds of film time, that’s like a 5 meters up at best. The climbers are in a terrible situation where they can’t retaliate and must focus on climbing. It also takes forever to get to the top. Its made even worse by the fact that the Night’s Watch pulls a giant scythe out of its ass later on to kill all of these guys. Seriously Night’s Watch, why even bother killing these guys now if you have that thing? You have more pressing matters in need of your attention. Wouldn’t these climbers be so exhausted when they reached the top that they’d be pretty easy to defeat anyway? And wouldn’t it be really easy to fight these climbers when they’re closer to the top of the wall? Just kill these guys when they’re 30 ft away and can’t fight back. Dropping a couple of rocks could just kill these guys. Why risk your life on some rusty pulleys to kill some guys that won’t be able to do anything? Plus you need brothers constantly holding the ropes, what a terribly inefficient way to do things, especially when you need every last brother fighting. Overall a terrible strategy by both parties.

I bet the Emperor of China who started building the Great Wall only dreamt that it would be as effective as this one. Human arrows barely reach halfway up, but the giant shows how it’s really done, and shoots a guy clear off the wall. He gets hit so far he lands on to the other side. That guy shouldn’t even be upset about his death though, that was the coolest death to ever happen to anyone, ever. Him landing on like that on the southern side of the wall confuses the shit out of one of his brothers.
best deathDon’t be fooled buddy! It’s much safer to stay up there!

That giant should have shot more arrows. Including the guy that got shot, 3 more Night’s Watchmen die by random henchmen, Styr takes out another 3 while Ygritte takes out another 2. That’s “20” on-screen Night’s Watchmen deaths.

The kitchen fight scene comes next and we get to see 3-Finger-Hobb wield this massive butcher knife and, well, butcher guys with it. He’s the chef for the Night’s Watch and I have no idea how he lost his fingers. I’m assuming his early years as a chef were difficult. I’m not sure why they were boiling…oil? And I couldn’t even distinguish which side threw the boiling stuff at whom, but I’m going to assume the Nights Watch used it, at least I hope they were smart enough to use it seeing as they boiled it. Maybe pouring that boiling oil down the southern wall would have been helpful to hold the southern gate longer than a minute. This scene was short, but a welcome addition to the show. My only question is what did Hobb do after he killed those wildlings because we never see him again…did he go back to the kitchen? Is he chilling with Maester Aemon in the dark library? Gilly would have been safer in this room.

I can’t keep counting how many people have died…I give up, but by the end of the episode they should be down to at least half their strength. I’m actually impressed that Pyp was able to tell the difference between his own guys and the attacking guys. All I know is that it seemed all the bald and ginger people were wildlings, everyone else it’s pretty much a toss-up. Pyp gets shot in the neck. Sam assures Pyp it’s only a flesh wound, but Pyp can’t really respond. Sam tries to get help and Pyp grabs him to stay because he knows Sam probably wouldn’t come back for him and…
Pyp – (Oh, I just died in your arms tonight, it must have been something you said…about shooting arrows more frequently. Thanks for screwing me over fat ass.) Ygritte is cutting crew through everyone with her arrows, her kill/death ratio is off the charts and she easily has the most kills so far.

Jon gives the order to drop all of their barrels on the guys running to the door instead of the fucking mammoth and giants. He was even the one that acknowledged that the 4 inch thick steel gates wouldn’t hold against giants. What could those guys possible have done?! Worst case scenario they help the fucking mammoth and giants rip open those gates, but all they can do is help. Drop it on the freaking mammoth and giants and call it a day! Seriously Jon, you actually know nothing. The barrels don’t even land on these guys, but some of them just fall down. Jon and crew just stare dumbstruck as the mammoth and giants set up their gate tearing off equipment. “What could they possible be doing?!” I know you guys are high up, but it ain’t exactly that hard to figure out. For a second there I thought the giant was smashing through the 4 inch thick steel gate like it was wood…then I realized it probably was just wood covering the gate.

what are all those barrel sdoing there
The mammoth and the giants do some damage to the gate, while all these spare barrels just sit idly by. Use the barrels!

Jon – “Take 6 men and go hold the gate. The gate won’t last all night.”
How about you just drop the barrels! It would have lasted then! Grenn didn’t have to die.
“Hold the gate.”
grenn got thisIn case Grenn didn’t know before, Jon repeats himself for emphasis. Jon should go down there if it’s so important.
“If they get through…”
Grenn – “They won’t.”
This is the moment I knew he’d die, but at least it would be epic. Did I mention that both him and Pyp are happily living in the books?! That horn is still going off in the background, just in case no one knew the wildlings were still attacking. 6 more men are sent to their deaths.

Alliser fights Tormund 1 on 1, the legend of Alliser Thorne continues! I loved this fight more than the Oberyn vs Mountain fight. Alliser gets defeated, taking a leg wound, and falls off the railing and into a bale of hay, pretty damn convenient. He then literally gets dragged into some sort of hidden dungeon area right by where he fell instead of getting mobbed by a horde of random wildlings, really convenient. I’m impressed he did so well against Tormund. At least his last words before he goes are “hold the fucking gate.” Just in case we forgot Jon telling us 2 times, Alliser tells us one more time. For emphasis. Emphasis! None of the wildlings seem to be trying to get to the gate though. They attacked the kitchen before they attacked the gate, this should be the southern wildling attackers biggest priority! Heck, maybe even attack the elevator and trap the rest of the brothers up there. If you just opened the gate from this side it’s game over. Or just any attack plan whatsoever would be nice. Why aren’t any of the Night’s Watchmen wearing armor? I get that the wildlings don’t wear armor, but I guess the brothers of the Night’s Watch just want to be killed easier. First it was helmets, then no armor. Movie logic kills and this isn’t even a movie.

Sam seems to have been holding Pyp this whole time, meaning Pyp must have had a terrible drawn out death scene. Sorry Pyp. Sam leaves Pyp to head back into the fray and has a wildling charge him while he fumbles to load his crossbow. I guess they did it to add tension to the scene, but why the fuck wasn’t that loaded Sam? He’s reads all these books yet still has no brains. Maybe he thought no one would notice the fattest and easiest target in the Night’s Watch? Sam arrives at the elevator as Grenn reaches the bottom and Sam yells at them to bring more men, he’s right, there only needs to be a few guys on top of the wall, and the guys up there aren’t even dropping the barrels at important moments. Grenn doesn’t help any of the other guys at the bottom and runs straight to the gate. Something the wildlings should have been doing.

scared kidSam yells at the little boy to get him to the top. If this is the way that Sam treats kids then he’s is going to be a terrible pseudo father for Sam, Gilly’s son. Sam tells the kid to wait for the signal and let them down then, but in the mean time to get started fighting. Sam you’ve killed 1 guy so far, I don’t think you can talk. Pretty convenient that a random bow and arrows are there for him.

They finally scare away the mammoth with oil barrels, and fire kills everyone but the giants.

That was like a 1 in a million shot to 1 hit KO a giant.

That was maybe the luckiest shot in the world to shoot that giant through the heart. I’m pretty sure that was the only giant arrow they had too. Then one idiot gets himself blown up by poking a wooden barrel full of oil with a spear tip. This kills like 4 guys on that post and the explosion hurts one of the guys holding a pulley rope, he lets go of it, resulting in him killing the guy being held up too. 6 more men die. There’s like no hooks to keep these ropes in place? Someone had to hold on to these ropes at all times?! The other guy being held up by the pulley really wants to come back now.

do edSam tells Jon to get him down to the bottom. Jon gives the command to Dolorous Edd, who is shocked to be given the wall. He continues tonight’s theme of everyone becoming a badass when given command and effectively commands everyone to continue to shoot arrows, pretty standard stuff, even Janos Slynt could do this! I’m just glad that Dolorous Edd gets to live in this episode. Jon jumps off the lift 5 seconds before it touches the ground because he’s too cool to get off like a normal person.

The giant lifts the gate by himself, and no wildlings run in to storm the tunnel with him. Where are all the wildlings? Are they still screaming by the forest?! The guy next to Grenn says they shot 20 arrows in that giant already, but that’s just a guess.
Grenn – “The Gods aren’t down here.”
Other dude – “We’re going to fight that?!”
Grenn – “No, we’re going to kill that.”
Looks like Grenn has become the Oberyn of the North.

grenn and crew vs giant Grenn grabs the scared dude and starts reciting his vows and everyone eventual joins in while the giant runs them down. It’s a great scene, and while it still works having the actual fight off-screen, damn, it would have been awesome to see this fight. Maybe they should back away from the inner gate a little bit…it just doesn’t seem like a safe place to stand. If the giant gets through alone, yeah it’ll be bad and he’ll wreck Castle Black even more, but maybe taking him out in the open courtyard with some archers could have been just as effective as facing him head on in that narrow tunnel. I thought for sure Alliser would be the one to die in that tunnel, biting his own words for not listening to Jon Snow and going out as the MVP brother of the battle. The character that killed the giant in the books was never introduced in the show, Donal Noye, a one-armed blacksmith that commanded the Night’s Watch as the de facto leader after Mormont’s assassination. He ended up killing a giant, and when I mean “a giant” I mean Mag the Mighty, king of the giants. He killed Mag by stabbing him in the face while he was getting crushed in Mag’s massive hands. I’m not sure if the giant in the show is Mag or not, but it’s still impressive to kill a giant. I’m sad to see Grenn go, but I guess killing him off allows more screen time for the other characters. He did go out in a pretty epic way, Grenn the Giantslayer.

Why Ghost wasn’t released earlier may be the stupidest thing the Night’s Watch has done in the history of the Night’s Watch. On a scale of mythical beasts that I want by my side in a battle from dragon to jackrabbit, direwolf is pretty high up there, like right after dragon. If Alliser locked him there out of spite for Jon Snow, then his badass points take a huge hit from his dumbass points. Jon kicks a guy down some stairs and that’s the end of that guy. Getting kicked down 4 wooden steps apparently kills a man. We then get a beautiful continuous shot depicting the battle. Whenever any of the named wildlings are on-screen they take out 3 to 4 brothers, but somehow the Night’s Watch still has more than enough guys to fight wildlings on 2 different fronts. Jon and Ghost are known to fight together in the books, but I guess Ghost just fights on his own and eats 1 guy. y snesesCurse you CGI budget! I thought for sure Styr, the main Thenn baddie, would be eaten by Ghost…the show missed a golden opportunity for irony. Tormund gets shot in the shoulder and continues to kill 2 more people. This guy totally had sex with a bear.
Ygritte – (I know that sword clank anywhere!)
She actually finds Jon Snow, apparently she has super hearing as well. Her know nothing sense was tingling. I guess you develop a connection with a guy when he invents cunnilingus with you.

Ygritte is out of arrows at this point and picks up 2 used arrows and immediately fires them, so she’s still out of arrows. If only she had more time to sharpen more arrows earlier! Don’t worry, she must pick up another one as she still threatens to kill Jon later.

no arrows

Ygritte doesn’t kill Styr despite saying earlier that she’d kill anyone that tried to kill Jon Snow before her. Jon gets his sword knocked out of his hands, and for being one of the best swords in the world Jon has taken zero advantage of this. I’m sure Jon would be long dead if he was fighting with a normal sword in all his battles. Getting your head slammed on an anvil should be game over, Jon checks into death city. Ned and Robb great him at the gates. Also why didn’t Styr just keep slamming his head on the anvil? A couple more slams and Jon’s head would have been split in 2.  Instead Styr throws him through a fire that doesn’t do anything. Styr tries to choke Jon bare handed instead of grabbing a weapon to finish him off. At least it looks like Jon’s learning to fight without honor and spits in Styr’s face before finding a hammer and smashing his head in. This is why you should wear a helmet! How Styr didn’t see that hammer I’ll never know.

Ygritte hesitates here, even though she shot him with 3 arrows when he broke up with her. I loved how the show handled this scene, it was almost word for word in the books.

word 4 woda

In the books we don’t know who killed Ygritte, the boy killing her in the show is fitting as she killed his father. It’s just weird how gigantic that bow looks compared to his scrawny boy body. It could actually be taller than him too.

bowboy

In the books Jon finds Ygritte dying after the battle and prays that it wasn’t his arrow that did her in. The show handles this much better, or at least in a more emotional way, while keeping the dialect on point. I tried not to lose it at her last words, it was hard reading it at the time too. I guess they shouldn’t really hug either seeing as the arrow point is still sticking out of her chest. A certain Bon Jovi song or Cutting Crew song could work here.
Ygritte – “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”
That’s the last time she uttered those words, or any words.

toroanto

This shot reminds me of the couple during the Vancouver riots. Not sure why, Canada is cold…

Vancouver-riot-kiss-coupl-001
The fact that the scythe is reusable means that it will be impossible to climb the wall in front of Castle Black. I don’t remember this death machine in the books either, but that’s one hell of a trump card. A few more swipes from that thing and the Wall will collapse on its own. Bold strategy, let’s see how it plays off.

Tormund was the only wildling left after the battle. Jon does the most casual crossbow shot I’ve ever seen and takes him down. He’s already seen one ginger he loved died today, he won’t see another. Tormund really should have thrown Jon from the atop the wall when he had the chance.

sdfgjhYeah Gilly, that door unlocking in the morning must mean the wildlings won and decided to do some early morning maintenance on their spoils of war. Like that meat bone she’s using as a weapon would have really done anything. She was somehow less scared when Slynt came earlier during the midst of battle. Also it looks like Slynt blocked Sam from his second kiss.

Mance was only testing their defenses, which seems like the dumbest possible thing he could have done when he outnumbered the Watch 1000 to 1. I mean he’s having simultaneous attacks on both sides of the wall and has an unlimited supply of soldiers, this was your chance Mance!
Jon – “I’m going to go kill Mance.”
Sam – “You can’t do that, no one gave you any orders.”
It looked like Sam read the books too, of course he did. Nerd.

Jon says his plan is to go and kill Mance Rayder, doing so would scatter the wildling tribes. While this is true in theory, it’s also not Jon’s plan in the books. When Jon spent time with the wildlings, he liked them. He sympathized with them. He understood that the wildlings weren’t the true enemy and that they just wanted to get to the other side of the wall because the undead army led by the Others is making living beyond the wall too dangerous. Jon respected Mance, even if he’s more loyal to the Night’s Watch, and he liked Tormund, and he loved Ygritte. Allister Thorne and Janos Slynt are the ones that force him to go out and meet Mance, all 3 believe this to be a suicide mission. Alliser doesn’t really get this kind of redemption in the books like he does in the show. I liked how the show humanizes him. I really don’t like this change in Jon, but I guess it does speed things up and it would be silly for Jon to start accepting orders from Janos or Alliser at this point.

grenn and giant dead

What about that gate I told Grenn to hold? Let me just sleep and check on that in the morning, it’s not like the gate was that important anyway. Sam warns Jon that the wildlings will torture him after he kills Mance. It’s better than what Ramsay will do to a person.
Lower the gate as soon as he’s out, yeah, that’s the point of a suicide mission Jon. He leaves his sword with Sam, uh oh, that’s not a good sign. He also doesn’t appear to have a back up weapon.
Jon – “Here Sam, take my sword…”
Sam – “AND MY AXE…could be useful to you now that you are unarmed. Good luck on your mission!”
Jon doesn’t promise Sam that he’ll return alive because he’s to honorable to lie to him and make a promise he can’t keep. He acts just like his father. I thought this was one of the lamest places to end the episode. Maybe instead of adding 20 minutes to the finale, add some more minutes to this episode so the ending isn’t as lame as this one.

my sword

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