A Dr. Wells introduction monologue?! Weird because we usually see him at the end of episodes.
Iris ordered 200 return label stickers for her and Eddie…how many physical letters does she send?
Iris – “I ordered 2000 by accident. I guess I ordered wrong.”
Why am I not surprised? 200 was still excessive.
Barry – “Wells took my mom from me.”
She knows, we know, everyone knows.
“I won’t let him take someone from you too.”
I mean Wells already took Eddie…
Cisco – “I kept asking myself why would Wells pretend to need a wheelchair?”
To be first in line at Disneyland? Priority parking? Luxury bathrooms? He’s evil?
Caitlin – “Sympathy?”
Cisco – “But he’s smarter than that, sympathy can’t be the only reason.”
Explain the fake glasses then.
Joe – “The last person we’d expect to be the man in yellow is someone in a wheelchair.”
Who would suspect someone wearing glasses too? That’s what really threw me off the trail. Cisco found a future battery hidden in the wheelchair that Wells left behind…he’s doing everything he can to get caught isn’t he?
Joe – “Damn, you can’t get that kind of tech at Radio Shack.”
You can’t get anything at Radio Shack; they’re out of business.
Barry – “What do you think he was using it for?”
To power his wheelchair, but in a cool smug future way.
Cisco – “Wells was absorbing the battery in the wheelchair, that’s why he was so fast.”
Nonchalantly takes a sip of his big gulp
He’s so cool right now, way to figure out the mystery Shaggy.
Someone reactivates the particle accelerator, who could it be?!
Joe – “…how is that possible? I thought it blew up?”
Yeah…maybe it was rebuilt at super speed? And no one noticed…
Barry – “…he’s here!”
Wells wants his wheelchair back.
Cisco brings his big gulp because liquid floats in the air wherever Reverse Flash is around. Sure. Reverse Flash zooms past them, the soda floating warning was useless! Barry chases after him.
Telescope Teleport is released from her cell and takes out Joe and Cisco in a flash… Maybe let out the other prisoners too Wells?
Telescope Teleport – “Peekaboo.”
I see you? That’s her real nickname in the show!
She teleports in front of Caitlin, even though her powers are vision based and she totally couldn’t see that far ahead of Caitlin!
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be stuck in that box?”
Justin Timberlake’s and Andy Samberg’s dicks know.
“Now you’re the one who’s going to go in a box, in the ground.”
Real subtle. And she makes another Lonely Island reference?
Iris knocks her out, that’s what she gets for monologuing.
Reverse Flash gets away, Barry wasn’t fast enough…that’s next episode.
Joe can hear Eddie’s cries for help in the pipeline and they rescue him. Look at how much facial hair Eddie has, he must have been gone for a couple hours. Just saying, Wilson had more beard stubble in Castaway than Eddie does now. Iris finds the engagement ring in the corner of a dark room because… she has womanly instincts to find rings?
Dr. Snow – “You’re okay, but a little dehydrated.”
He should be famished. Did Wells not give him water too?
Did Eddie always wear that necklace?
Eddie is passive aggressive in front of the future Iris West-Allen.
Joe – “Why’d he take you?”
He thought Eddie was Princess Peach.
Eddie – “He said we’re family.”
Wells simply wanted Eddie to lose some weight before the family reunion, what a swell guy.
Joe – “Did he say anything else? I almost got killed by a gorilla for you.”
Cisco finds the future key in the pipeline.
“I press or touch the wrong thing on this future tech and I could bring the building down.”
Its not like Barry could save them all…do it you big pussy!
Barry – “How long until it’s fully functional?”
How would he have any idea Bare? He literally can’t even find the power button.
Cisco – “Best I can tell…36 hours.”
WHAT?! I don’t care anymore… my guess would have been next Tuesday at 8.
Joe – “Why would he want the particle accelerator to work again?”
With a name like particle accelerator it probably speeds things up. So it could make Barry “fast enough” to travel back in time or something.
The former villain’s lives could be in danger because of Wells, so Barry plans to move them for their safety.
Joe – “I thought the whole plan was to rehabilitate them and set them free?”
He’s critiquing the actual prison system in the US. This was always the plan Joe, they were never getting out.
Joe – “How do we move them to Oliver’s own private Alcatraz?”
Easy, they call Sean Connery and Nic Cage.
Joe schmoozes with the DA to try and get an unnecessary police escort for this unnecessary plan.
“Let’s say hypothetically I’ve been holding metahumans against their will.”
Central DA – “Hypothetically it would be super illegal.”
“So… can I get a police escort? Hypothetically of course, unless you can, then I totally need one.”
Central DA – “How am I supposed to do that? Say the president is in town?”
Joe – “Yeah that works.”
Central DA – “I can’t even.”
I sort of agree with her and she leaves the room in frustration.
Barry – (How did it go? Hypothetically of course.)
Barry – “Oliver is busy with his season finale, but they can still help us out.”
The police have been getting blown away by metahumans all season and have literally been no help at any point, why do they need an escort again? Is the Joker going to attack them in transit?
I don’t think too many saints drink at the Saints and Sinners bar. Probably just 100% alcoholics.
Cold – “Give me another one…ice cold.”
Heck, just bring him some ice cubes. Ice cold ice cubes.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Scarlet Speedster.”
I’m not sure if that bartender is smart enough to make the connection and figure out Barry’s secret identity, but I’ll let it slide this time…like an ice cube.
Barry – “We need to talk.”
He’s going to break up with Cold.
Cold – “You want anything? Beer? Food? The pickled eggs here are fantastic.”
I’ve never eaten a pickled egg at a bar and thought “glad I ate that.”
Of course cold as ice would be playing in the background. It’s practically the theme to this episode.
“You must be truly desperate to come to me for help.”
Bare shouldn’t be this desperate though.
Barry – “I need your help transporting five metahumans out of the city.”
Cold – “You want me to freeze the problem?”
He’s just shoehorning cold puns in now, sub zero effort writers…where’s that drink he ordered?
“First rule of business, always protect yourself.”
The second rule of business? Don’t talk about mechanical engineering.
“Why should I help you? They’re not my my problem.”
He’s as cold as ice!
Barry – “I thought this was your home? You won’t be able to rob anyone if everyone’s dead.”
Wouldn’t that make it easier to rob people?
“If I’m going to help you out, I’ll need something in return.”
He writes his request down on a piece of paper for emphasis.
Barry – “I can’t do that!”
What could he have asked for?! A dozen more cold guns? Antartica? A night with Dr. Snow?
Eddie was kidnapped for nearly two weeks. A couple more days and he would have died of starvation, Wells would have ceased to exist, and there wouldn’t be much of a show…
Eddie gives Iris the cold shoulder treatment. He’s as cold as ice!
Iris – “You were going to propose to me?”
Eddie – “I was.”
He’s willing to sacrifice their love!
Iris – “What did he do to you?”
He’s gay now, Wells reversed him.
Eddie – “He showed me the future and you’re married to Barry.”
Joe – “You asked Cold for help? Why would you do something so stupid?”
Barry – “Because, I am stupid!”
And apparently he asked everyone else, e.g. Firestorm, Atom, and Oliver. What about General Krabs? He’s more trustworthy than Cold. Just transport without the escort!
Barry – “The particle accelerator goes online in 16 hours!”
Snart’s just a guy with a cold gun…Cisco could arm the whole crew with cold guns in 16 minutes.
Remember that Barry is panicking over what’s essentially a backup plan if Cisco screws up with transport…does he have no faith in Cisco?
Cold – “Lucky for you I figured out what you can get me.”
Joe grabs his gun, he’s ready to fire on Cold. I love Caitlin and Cisco’s reaction to Cold casually strolling in; they’re having traumatic flashbacks to their kidnapping. Also, do they have any security at STAR Labs? A door with a lock or a passcode, anything at all?
Cold – “I want a clean slate.”
So he’s essentially Catwoman from Dark Knight Rises.
Joe – “You really think we’d do that for you?”
Cold’s asking a lot for such a small favor.
Barry – “I’ll do it.”
What did he request earlier that was so ridiculous then?! Barry’s rolling the dice trusting Cold here.
Joe – “There has to be a different way.”
(Bare never takes my advice and someday he’ll pay the price, I know.)
Barry – “I don’t see any other way and we’re running out of time!”
Maybe trust Cisco they won’t escape? Or give Joe a cold gun. Or literally transport the bad guys in their cells on a big truck. Or knock them all out. Or transport them at super speed. There are so many ways, but no, this is what they’re going with. This is a worse plan ever, and the bar was already set low going into the episode.
Cop leaving evidence room – (They don’t pay me enough to be suspicious.)
Barry actually wipes Cold’s record off “the grid.” This one computer in Central City’s evidence room has everything on Cold… He then steals all the physical evidence and sends a virus to delete all of Cold’s online info…Cold had an embarrassing picture from the Christmas party that he had to get rid of. His sister is here to help too, she didn’t want anything in return though because she has a freaking gold gun, she’s set for life. Hot isn’t in this episode though.
Do Cold and Gold gossip about the Lab Nerds in their free time? Cold – “I captured and threatened to kill her, but wow was Dr. Snow uptight. Loved her last name though.”
Caitlin – “Why are you wearing your mask Bare? He already knows.”
Cold – “I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, that includes my sister.”
What a trustworthy guy. Let’s put all of our trust in him.
“I’m a man of my word.”
Joe – “Yeah you better be. I’m going to make sure you’re on that damn plane too.”
Gold Sister – “Hey Cisco…”flirts
She’s as gold as nice!
Cisco – “I’m only attracted to blondes actually.”
Caitlin – “You kissed her?!”
She kissed Fake Barry. Both Lab Nerds have gone to first with bad guys.
Cisco will transport them in a truck that he modified to cancel metahuman powers. Smart, but what’s the plan once they actually get on the plane? Gold Sister is apparently licensed to drive this truck, it’s one of the few laws they’re not breaking with this plan. Weather Brother, Red Eyes White Human, Poison Mist, Teleport Telescope, and some guy I’ve never seen before are knocked out and placed on the truck. Why couldn’t they keep everyone unconscious the whole time? Just how far away is this airport?!
That truck is going to hit Bare! He wasn’t fast enough to dodge a truck! He sets up road barriers along the way so they don’t hit traffic, but it’s not like there’s ever any cars on the road during their other fights. Barry and the gang arrive at the airport without incident and they’re even a little early…is this the first time Barry has arrived early? Biggest plot fault in the entire episode.
Gold Sister – “How come you haven’t given me a code name?”
Hot sister is her code name in his fantasies.
“What do you think I should be called?”
Comic Relief – “Female inmate.”
Gold Sister – “Please give me a bad ass alias.”
This is just fueling the fire for his next sexy dream.
Cisco – “Golden Glider.”
I know that’s her actually alias in the comic books, but how did he come up with this here?
The villains in the truck regain their powers. Weather brother strikes down the ARGUS plane accidently with his lightning…well that was lucky.
The one guy I don’t recognize shoots laserbeams out of his eyes! There’s no way I would have forgotten him! Poison Mist loses to Barry’s tornado arm technique, but then runs away after Weather Brother and Evil Cyclops start shooting at Barry. He gets struck by lightning, but I thought he was immune to lightning? He’s out for the count.
Cold takes out Not Cyclops…I think that guy’s dead. Red Eyes tries to Whammie Cold, but Cold’s wearing sunglasses so his powers wouldn’t have any effect anyway, are these former villains forgetting their powers? Gold Sister tells him to power down.
Cold double-crossed Barry! Who could have predicted it?!
Weather Brother – “You’re just letting us go? Why’d you shoot that guy?”
(I’m the only handsome villain allowed in this show! Screw you Cold!)
Cold – “He owed me money.”
Note to self, pay Cold money I owe him. Also his sister has a gold gun! Why does he need money?!
They just leave…
Cold – “Now they all owe me.”
I hope they double-cross him in the future.
Barry – “You gave me your word.”
Don’t worry, Cold is only burning his half of his giant pile of money.
Cold – “It’s true, but here’s the thing. I’m a criminal and a liar.”
His sister totally knows Barry’s secret identity, and I’m adding Hot too. 25 people now know Barry’s secret identity.
“You should be mad at yourself. This is on you, Barry.”
Yes I know, I know.
Barry – “Why didn’t you just kill me?”
Cold – “Well I guess you owe me one now too.”
Barry “erased” you from the system and you still fucked him over. At best you two are even.
Barry – “Thanks for not saying I told you so.”
Joe – “But I did tell you so. Repeatedly.”
Joe’s as cold as ice! And I love him for it.
Barry – “I thought I could be like Oliver…but I couldn’t do what needed to be done.”
Joe – “That’s not the kind of hero you are.”
Yeah, Barry could never pull off a green suit. Scarlet is his color.
The particle accelerator is online, but it only took 35 hours and 54 minutes! I knew Cisco was wrong!
Iris – “You’re going to end this relationship because some lunatic from the future told you that I’m destined to marry Barry?”
Second smartest thing she’s said all season.
Eddie – “Yeah… There’s always been 3 people in this relationship. Barry knew, Joe knew, and if I’m going to be completely honest with myself, I knew too.”
Bullshit, he had no idea. He’s as dumb as ice!
“I thought I could love you enough to change things.”
And I thought if I wrote enough letters to Emma Watson she’d love me, we were both wrong.
“If you really do love me, you’ll let this end.”
So Barry is the rebound guy…that’s why she hyphens her name, no respect for the rebound.
Wells casually walks up to the gates of STAR Labs and challenges Barry… I could have sworn this confrontation was supposed to happen next episode.
Wells – “I heard your prison transfer didn’t go so well.”
Barry – “All part of your plan I assume?”
Yes, his plan was for Bare to screw that up…a psychological blow.
Wells – “Actually, that didn’t factor into my plan at all. But I’m impressed you fucked up.”
He’s as cold as ice! That pun never gets old.
Barry – “And the particle accelerator? How does that fit into your grand plan?”
Crashing this plane.
Wells – “Why don’t you let me show you.”
Are we about to go on a magic carpet ride?
Barry – “I just learned the hard way not to trust the bad guy.”
Funny he didn’t learn this when Wells betrayed him? I don’t think Barry ever learns.
Wells – “And yet, I’ve told you time and time again, you can’t beat me Barry.”
I kind of want Reverse Flash to win.
Firestorm flies in and Arrow ninjas in…where were these two like an hour ago?
Barry – “I don’t care how fast you are, you can’t fight all 3 of us.”
Wells – “Oh I can’t? Trust me. This is going to be fun.”
Maybe Wells should call his gorilla for help.
Wells sticks out his ring, Firestorm ignites, Arrow notches his bow, and Barry’s eyes sparkle. They fight.
Barry and Reverse Flash collide at super speed…the other two just stand there, unable to do anything… Firestorm literally flies away in frustration. The Arrow manages to shoot Reverse Flash, who’s just as bad at dodging as Barry! It makes sense he taught Bare everything he knows. Arrow apparently hit Reverse Flash with an anti-speed arrow, courtesy of the Atom. Why isn’t he here again? Reverse Flash without his super speed is weaker than the Arrow. Barry catches Firestorm and then rests on the ground because…moral support?
Reverse Flash vibrates the slowness nanobots out of his system and his eyes turn red again, he gains the advantage in a flash.
Reverse Flash – “The history books say you live to be 86 years old. The history books are wrong!”
Spoilers! The Arrow’s life isn’t going to be in peril until like season 56 then.
Reverse Flash monologued too long and Barry tackles him. They fight atop STAR Labs at super speeds before Firestorm blasts Reverse Flash off the building and he lands on a car. Thankfully the show is adopting Fast and Furious logic here and the car cushions his impact. He then gets shot with another arrow because Oliver needs to know he would have won that fight. Barry really didn’t do anything. Barry now owes the Arrow a favor, but he just thanks Firestorm. He doesn’t owe Firestorm anything because… They both leave…
Barry – “I got you.”
Seeing as there’s one more episode…probably not. Was getting caught part of his master plan? Probably, it always is.