Game of Thrones Recap: Hardhome

run away! white walkers

This episode diverged from the book in many aspects but it’s still easily the best episode of Season 5. Usually episode 9 is the climatic battle scene, but it appears they nudged it up to episode 8. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Jorah – “Your Grace, I want to say-”
Daenerys – “You will not speak.”
She needs someone to replace Barristan, just forgive Jorah bear already.
“How do I know who you say you are?”
Uh, I don’t want to be offensive here, but 7 Gods just look at him Khaleesi! Of course he’s the Imp!
“If you are Tyrion Lannister why shouldn’t I kill you?”
Because she can sell him to a cock merchant and make a fortune!
Tyrion – “I killed my mother on the day I was born and killed my father with a bolt to the heart.”
Dany killed her mother in labor too and honestly that shouldn’t even count as “murdering” his mother. Also Tyrion 100% shot his dad in the stomach and not the heart.
Tyrion – “I am the greatest Lannister killer of our time.”
He should have taken credit for killing Joffrey too, I mean he was accused and found “guilty” during his trial, he could potentially boast of three kills here.
Dany – “So I should welcome you into my service because you murdered your own family?”
He’d fit right in with her then! She allowed her brother to be killed and technically killed her own mother, baby, and husband.
Tyrion – “Your grace, it’s too soon to know if you deserve my service.”
Jorah’s reaction to Tyrion’s quip is my favorite part of this strong scene.
Jorah – (Hey that’s Khaleesi you’re talking to! You were supposed to be a gift!)
Tyrion – “Killing and politics aren’t always the same thing.”
There’s only a strong correlation.
Daenerys – “So you want to advise me? Very well, what should I do with him?”
Tyrion – (I bet he regrets punching me now!)
“He’s no longer the man that was once spying on you. He’s deeply in love with you and I suspect would do anything for you.”

jorah of the many faces
Jorah – (Is he sticking up for me? Is it working?! I love you Khaleesi! Look at me!)
Tyrion – “He did not trust that you would be wise enough to forgive him.”
And he was right…
Daenerys – “So I should kill him?”
7 Gods she’s insane.
Tyrion recommends banishing Jorah from the city…again. Despite not being the nicest traveling companion, Jorah saved Tyrion from drowning and now with Tyrion saving Jorah here they should be considered even. After being escorted out of the city Jorah checks his greyscale, AGAIN! Yes it’s still there Jorah and it’s probably better you don’t stay around Dany when you’re contaminated with greyscale. I still think he’ll get banished a third time.
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Game of Thrones Recap: Sons of the Harpy

I loved the Dorne animation in the introduction, I believe that’s the first time they used it. The show runners are promoting a strong snake theme for Dorne… I wouldn’t be surprised if Voldermort was Dornish. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up anything new for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

This random fisherman just got in after a long hard day at sea…and gets punched in the face. Jorah drops 2 coins on his unconscious body, a fair exchange for stealing his boat. Tyrion’s small size makes him as easy as kidnapping a child, but Jorah used wine instead of candy to lure Tyrion into his boat. At least he’s not in a box.

i'm totes betraying you later
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Game of Thrones Recap: High Sparrow

there are dozens of them, dozens!

Moat Cailin makes a cameo in the introduction animation, a surprise addition, we may never see it again. Meereen was shown even though there was no Dany plotline, no wonder I liked this episode so much. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up anything new for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

For a place littered with fireplaces I still can’t see a thing. There are a whole bunch of archaic stone carvings and statues of the creepier gods. It may just be too dark to see but, ironically, a Lord of Light statue would fit right in. An old man takes a sip of water from a cup Jaqen H’ghar provided him and dies shortly after…he choose, poorly.
Arya – “I’ve been sweeping this floor for days.”
I would have started questioning what I was doing a couple of hours into sweeping. Days?! She certainly has patience. With all the chimneys and the sweeping… is Arya Stark training to become a chimney sweep? Is Mary Poppins the head of the Faceless Men?
Jaqen H’ghar – “Here we serve the Many-Faced God.”
Is it ironic that the Faceless Men serve a god with many faces? Yes.
“There is only one god, a girl knows his name.”
Not today?
“And all men know his gift.”
Cue man dying
I’ll just take coal instead, thanks anyway Santa, but I politely decline the “gift” of death.
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Game of Thrones Recap: The Wars to Come


Season 5 is finally upon us! The Winterfell animation had a Bolton logo, I know it’s a new season and I should be happy, but that made me sad. I may have spelled every name wrong at least once during my first run through, it’ll take a while before I fall back into form.  I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up anything new for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.
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Game of Thrones Dilemma: The Show Spoiling the Books

george rr martin in westeros

The 5th Season of Game of Thrones starts today!, but it’s not all good news. I can’t think of one example where a television adaption overtakes the original work, but that’s exactly what we’re getting. There’s no way, none!, that A Dream of Spring, the final installment of A Song of Ice and Fire, comes out before the final season of Game of Thrones. Not watching the show isn’t an option either because unless you live in a pineapple under the sea there’s no way it would be possible to avoid spoilers to a show this popular. Especially considering it’ll take at least 4 years for Martin to get that final book out, if we’re lucky!, after the show ends. If you have read all the books and are worried about the show ending keep reading, but show-only watchers shouldn’t read further, there are spoilers in here. Enjoy knowing that us book readers will be in the same boat as you soon.

Just a heads up, no Bran or Hodor at all this season. I mean there wasn’t really anything more the show could do, except maybe tell the story of the Knight of the Laughing Tree!, but we’re pretty much on equal footing between book Bran and show Bran. Unless they do a montage of Bran learning how to warg into trees, which is just Bran sitting down with his eyes white, but with awesome music.

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Dunk and Egg: A Must Read

dunk and egg and an actual egg...there were not many good pictures out there

Waiting for Winds of Winter to come out sometime before I die of old age, I started craving for more A Song of Ice and Fire material so I finally got around to reading all three Tales of Dunk and Egg novellas. They were amazing. It only took 2 days, the Hedge Knight was the longest at ~90 pages, but that’s nothing considering how much George RR usually writes. I haven’t reread the books in a while, but I’ve read numerous fan theories and as much of the wiki page as I could, it’s not the same!, but reading these novellas felt like a new book coming out early. I didn’t read them until now because…well I didn’t think I’d care about the events that happened in the past considering how I know how every turns out and they’re kind of hard to obtain, but I was wrong on both accounts.

The events in the Tales of Dunk and Egg occur roughly a hundred years before the Mad King and the downfall of the Targaryen dynasty. These two live in an entirely different Westeros than the one we’ve grown accustomed too. Martin released these novellas attached to other short story collection books, but I think it’s possible to purchase them individually on kindle or find PDF versions online. It’s still possible to understand and enjoy these novellas if one hasn’t read the books. Spoiler ahead, but I won’t ruin the plot to any of the novellas.
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