Game of Thrones Recap: The Door

littlefinger and 2 ladys

This episode is titled The Door…and we know exactly why. I can’t spoil too much new information because most of the characters’ storylines have progressed further than their book counterparts. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Littlefinger has already arrived at Molestown. I’m honestly not sure if this is an abandoned town after the wildlings raided the place 2 seasons ago.
Littlefinger – “Sansa!”
(All my planning has been for this moment, I love you Sansa!)
Littlefinger – “Lady Brienne…”
All his planning yet he didn’t expect Sansa to be mad at him.
Littlefinger – “When I heard you escaped Winterfell I feared the worst…I am so happy to see you unharmed.”
He feared the worst when Sansa escaped Winterfell? Why, was it because she wouldn’t have her husband to protect her?
Sansa – “Did you know about Ramsay? If you didn’t you’re an idiot, if you did, you’re an enemy.”
Why can’t he be both?
Littlefinger – “I made a mistake.”
Before Sansa arrived here, Davos recommended a justifiable punishment for Littlefinger that would make his nickname quite  ironic.
Sansa – “I don’t believe you anymore, I don’t need you anymore. Why shouldn’t I tell Brienne to cut you down now?”
Well look at that, I can’t think of any reason either. Fetch that block girl.
Littlefinger – “If you want me to beg for my life, I will do it.”
But he doesn’t do it. Not even a little.
Sansa – “You freed me from the monsters that murdered my family and gave me to different monsters that murdered my family.”
The Lannisters killed her dad. The Bolton’s killed her mother, brother, and sister in law.
%22half brother%22Littlefinger – “A time will come when you may need an army loyal to you.”
Like the Knights of the Vale? Killing him would probably gain their loyalty, does anyone actually like him?
Sansa – “I have an army.”
Meh, they have some wildlings.
Littlefinger – “Your brother’s army?”
Stop letting him influence you!
“Half brother.”
Stop it! You can still kill him! Maim at the very least.

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Game of Thrones: Book of the Stranger

another redhead? really?The 4th episode of the season is named after one of the Seven. The Stranger represents death and we can infer that the show runners are calling this episode the Book of Death. Honestly I thought it should have been named “Sister Power” after all the motivational talks they did for their brothers. I can’t spoil too much new information because most of the characters’ storylines have progressed further than their book counterparts. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Jon plans on heading south to, presumably, retire. He’s seen enough of the North for one life time. Jon Beach Resort has a better ring to it than Jon Snow.
Edd – “I was with you at Hardhome, we saw what’s out there. How can you leave us now?”
Winter is coming, better head south to warmer shores.
Jon – “I did everything I could and they killed me.”
And now he’s given a second chance!
“You want me to stay here after they killed me?”
I mean…he did kill those guys right? So what’s the problem? Too many bad memories?
Before he can leave, Sansa arrives at the Wall and Jon has yet another touching hug. Edd must be thinking, really? Another redhead? Deep down, I bet a small part of Jon wishes she was Arya.

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Game of Thrones Recap: Oathbreaker

ghost was not expecting this

I’m not entirely sure why this episode is called Oathbreaker. It’s the name of Brienne’s sword, but she wasn’t in this episode and I can’t place a single scene where an oath was broken or someone uttered the phrase. Brienne’s sword is Oathkeeper. Is Jon leaving the Night’s Watch what this refers to? Because technically he didn’t break his oath. I can’t spoil too much new information because most of the characters’ storylines have progressed further than their book counterparts. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Ghost looks like he’s seen a ghost! Jon Snow White awoke without needing his Prince Charming, apparently he’s his own prince. His stab wounds aren’t bleeding, so I’m not entirely sure if he’s a zombie.
Davos – “What do you remember?”
Pain? A sexy redhead giving him a haircut?
Jon – “They stabbed me… Olly, he put a knife in my heart.”
Both figuratively and literally.
“I shouldn’t be here.”
What are things surprisingly said by Jon and not Davos.
Melisandre – “After you died, where did you go? What did you see?”
Is her perception of heaven our perception of hell? Probably.
Jon – “Nothing. There was nothing at all.”
He knew nothing, and his afterlife reflected this.
“I did what I thought was right…and I got murdered for it.”
He truly has Ned Stark’s blood.
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Game of Thrones Recap: Home

ned and caitlin used to watch Bran like this
I think this is the shortest name for an episode yet. I can’t spoil too much new information because most of the characters’ storylines have progressed further than their book counterparts. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

The three eyed raven two eyed old man and Bran watch past Winterfell. Young Ned and Benjen are dueling, and Rodrik Cassel started growing his mutton chops early it appears.
Bran – “They were all so happy.”
Our chances of seeing Sean Bean again via flashback are pretty decent.
Bloodraven – “So were you once.”
When Bran could walk and talk with his family.
Lyanna makes her appearance, as well as a young Hodor, but Old Nan doesn’t let Hodor practice fighting because he’s a stable boy. Because stable boys can’t ever become knights? I don’t hear of any stable men, am I right ladies?!
Bloodraven – “Time to go.”
They go back to the future? In their minds, but technically they never left.
Bran – “You finally show me something I care about, and then you drag me away!”
He’s speaking directly for the book readers here.
Bran – “Willis, I saw you as a boy. You could talk, what happened?”
Hodor – “Hodor.”
I’m not sure what Bran was expecting.
Bran – “…where’s Meera?”
Hodor – “Hodor.”
Whatcha talking about Willis?! I didn’t shoehorn that in at all!
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Game of Thrones Recap: The Dance of Dragons

people react differently to the games of meereen

I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Melisandre’s fire senses are tingling and disappointed she didn’t start the fire. You’d think she’d have a resistance to fire. Before Ramsay attacked she gazed into her fire for visions of the future, but when all she saw was fire she thought nothing of it… Apparently Ramsay was able to sneak up on this entire army in the middle of the night and burn down multiple tents, destroy their food supply, kill hundreds of horses, and cause general mayhem undetected because he’s from the North and knows the land better than them… which is ridiculous. I knew it was too good to be true when Ramsay left Winterfell, he should have died, but this psycho can’t be killed.
Stannis – “Capture last night’s guards, either they fell asleep or they conspired with the enemy.”
Discipline reflects leadership. His army is only good at defeating untrained wildlings.
“Find out the truth and then hang them.”
I didn’t see any trees at this campsite, how will the be hanged without trees? They don’t know the land enough to find trees either because they aren’t from the North.
Davos – “Forgive me your grace, I never claimed to be a military man, but things aren’t looking good and we should retreat to Castle Black.”
Their position doesn’t look good, but at least they can eat the horses; Ramsay was kind enough to cook them well done.
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Game of Thrones Recap: The Gift

he was a king's brother and a potential king himself, a good man

The word “gift” was uttered more often by the characters than “winter is coming” and boobs shown combined this episode. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Jon prepares to travel to Hardhome with Tormundo Unchained, but it looks like Jon won’t be bringing Ghost. I mean even the Sand Snakes brought poisoned weapons with them on their kidnap? mission and they’re idiots. Maybe bring that direwolf when meeting a horde of wildlings in White Walker undead army territory! Alliser and Olly look on unapprovingly.
Alliser – “Lord Commander, I believe this decision to be reckless, foolhardy, and an insult to all the brothers that have died fighting the wildlings.”
This comment would hold more weight if it wasn’t his reply to all of Jon’s decisions.
Jon – “As always thank you for your honesty.”
Sam gives Jon a dragon glass dagger; I’m sure it won’t come into play next episode.
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Game of Thrones Recap: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

a game of guess who

Unbowed, unbent, unbroken are the words of House Martell and it seems appropriate that this season’s lamest story in the show emulates the title of the weakest episode in the season. It took me too long to realize that the introduction animation of Sunspear is labeled as Dorne, the equivalent of labeling Winterfell as the North. They’ve made changes with the Winterfell animation every season to reflect the damage its undergone, but the harpy atop of the Meereen pyramid is still sitting there… I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.
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Game of Thrones Recap: Kill the Boy

When the episode is called “Kill the Boy,” well, this could have been a much darker episode than it actually was. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.
fire chandileires...i can't spell

Missandei watches over Grey Worm’s body, he’s probably still alive. I’m not sure how they lit those fire chandeliers, slaves?, but it looks cool. It looks like Barristan is taking a nap on a peculiar stone bed, Barristan the Old needs to rest up so he can wake up at the crack of dawn… I mean if he’s still alive in the books and there are no stone googly eyes on him then there’s no way he’s actually dead. No way! Daenerys isn’t even wearing black to his funeral… or the traditional Meereenese topless dress of mourning. Dany please!
Hizdahr – “Is this a bad time? I don’t think this would have happened if the fighting pits were open…just saying.”
I’ve written 14 of these now and I still have to look up the correct spelling for his name every time.
Daenerys – “Barristan the bold they called him… he died in an alley, butchered by cowards.”
Killing off such a important character this early…bold strategy Benioff and Weiss. I expect a certain grizzly bear will take over Barristan’s responsibilities down the road or the show will just go in a different direction entirely with the Meereen plotline.
Daario – “Let’s pull everyone back to the pyramid, then clean the city out.”
Whoa there buddy, maybe you should pull back. He wants to slaughter everyone in the city. Harsh.
Daenerys – “I’d rather round up all the leaders of the great families.”
Hizdahr – “… But I’m the leader of my family…I’m sorry for requesting to reopen the pits earlier!”
What happened with this guy? Wasn’t he on her small council? Now it’s just Daario?
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Game of Thrones Recap: Sons of the Harpy

I loved the Dorne animation in the introduction, I believe that’s the first time they used it. The show runners are promoting a strong snake theme for Dorne… I wouldn’t be surprised if Voldermort was Dornish. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up anything new for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

This random fisherman just got in after a long hard day at sea…and gets punched in the face. Jorah drops 2 coins on his unconscious body, a fair exchange for stealing his boat. Tyrion’s small size makes him as easy as kidnapping a child, but Jorah used wine instead of candy to lure Tyrion into his boat. At least he’s not in a box.

i'm totes betraying you later
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Game of Thrones Recap: High Sparrow

there are dozens of them, dozens!

Moat Cailin makes a cameo in the introduction animation, a surprise addition, we may never see it again. Meereen was shown even though there was no Dany plotline, no wonder I liked this episode so much. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up anything new for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

For a place littered with fireplaces I still can’t see a thing. There are a whole bunch of archaic stone carvings and statues of the creepier gods. It may just be too dark to see but, ironically, a Lord of Light statue would fit right in. An old man takes a sip of water from a cup Jaqen H’ghar provided him and dies shortly after…he choose, poorly.
Arya – “I’ve been sweeping this floor for days.”
I would have started questioning what I was doing a couple of hours into sweeping. Days?! She certainly has patience. With all the chimneys and the sweeping… is Arya Stark training to become a chimney sweep? Is Mary Poppins the head of the Faceless Men?
Jaqen H’ghar – “Here we serve the Many-Faced God.”
Is it ironic that the Faceless Men serve a god with many faces? Yes.
“There is only one god, a girl knows his name.”
Not today?
“And all men know his gift.”
Cue man dying
I’ll just take coal instead, thanks anyway Santa, but I politely decline the “gift” of death.
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