Game of Thrones Recap: Home

ned and caitlin used to watch Bran like this
I think this is the shortest name for an episode yet. I can’t spoil too much new information because most of the characters’ storylines have progressed further than their book counterparts. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

The three eyed raven two eyed old man and Bran watch past Winterfell. Young Ned and Benjen are dueling, and Rodrik Cassel started growing his mutton chops early it appears.
Bran – “They were all so happy.”
Our chances of seeing Sean Bean again via flashback are pretty decent.
Bloodraven – “So were you once.”
When Bran could walk and talk with his family.
Lyanna makes her appearance, as well as a young Hodor, but Old Nan doesn’t let Hodor practice fighting because he’s a stable boy. Because stable boys can’t ever become knights? I don’t hear of any stable men, am I right ladies?!
Bloodraven – “Time to go.”
They go back to the future? In their minds, but technically they never left.
Bran – “You finally show me something I care about, and then you drag me away!”
He’s speaking directly for the book readers here.
Bran – “Willis, I saw you as a boy. You could talk, what happened?”
Hodor – “Hodor.”
I’m not sure what Bran was expecting.
Bran – “…where’s Meera?”
Hodor – “Hodor.”
Whatcha talking about Willis?! I didn’t shoehorn that in at all!
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Game of Thrones Recap: The Red Woman

not grenn and pyp mourn
Season 6 is no book 6, but it’s good enough. I’ve read the books, but I can’t spoil too much new information because most of the characters’ storylines have progressed further than their book counterparts, but I will try to make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Jon Snow lays in a pool of his own blood in the snow, Ghost howls in the background. There’s a chance he’s only sleeping with his eyes open and Ghost is trying to wake him up.
Davos, not even a member of the Night’s Watch, is the first to find him. They then bring Jon’s dead body inside because they don’t want him to get stabbed again.
Edd – “Thorne did this.”
There’s a chance Jon tripped and fell on a dozen invisible knives.
Davos – “How many brothers do you think you can trust?”
Well there’s Sam, Maester Aemon, Grenn, Pyp…so zero.
Ed – “The men in this room.”
There’s no one else? Maybe a brother who slept in?
“Is the wolf not here?”
Step 1: GET THE WOLF!
Mel – “But I saw Jon fighting in Winterfell…”
Maybe some elaborate Weekend at Winterfell scenario? She still sees Stannis as king, so maybe she should stop looking at the flames, it’s causing her to lose her vision.
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Game of Thrones Recap: Mother’s Mercy

stannis...you're going to have a rough time

Season 5 Finale Show vs. Book Storyline Parallels
Arya – Has more material left in the books.
Jon – Caught up with the books.
Sam – He has tons of material left. Maybe they’ll shorten his never ending boat ride to Oldtown.
Tyrion – New territory for him, he’s progressed passed the books.
Dany – Caught up with the books.
Jaime – His entire storyline is different.
Bronn – He shouldn’t even be in the story.
Sand Snakes – I wish they weren’t in the story.
Brienne – Her entire storyline is different.
Stannis – Still alive in the books. Hasn’t engaged Boltons yet.
Sansa – Her entire storyline is different.
Theon – There’s a little more material left, especially if you read the pre-released chapter.
Melisandre – Caught up with the books.
Davos – His entire storyline was thrown out when other characters weren’t cast.
Cersei – Basically where we left off in the books, one more chapter of material.
Littlefinger – Where did he go?
All the Tyrells – Thought I spotted the Queen of Thornes during Cersei’s walk of shame, but it was just a tart.

I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.
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Game of Thrones Recap: The Gift

he was a king's brother and a potential king himself, a good man

The word “gift” was uttered more often by the characters than “winter is coming” and boobs shown combined this episode. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Jon prepares to travel to Hardhome with Tormundo Unchained, but it looks like Jon won’t be bringing Ghost. I mean even the Sand Snakes brought poisoned weapons with them on their kidnap? mission and they’re idiots. Maybe bring that direwolf when meeting a horde of wildlings in White Walker undead army territory! Alliser and Olly look on unapprovingly.
Alliser – “Lord Commander, I believe this decision to be reckless, foolhardy, and an insult to all the brothers that have died fighting the wildlings.”
This comment would hold more weight if it wasn’t his reply to all of Jon’s decisions.
Jon – “As always thank you for your honesty.”
Sam gives Jon a dragon glass dagger; I’m sure it won’t come into play next episode.
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Game of Thrones Recap: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

a game of guess who

Unbowed, unbent, unbroken are the words of House Martell and it seems appropriate that this season’s lamest story in the show emulates the title of the weakest episode in the season. It took me too long to realize that the introduction animation of Sunspear is labeled as Dorne, the equivalent of labeling Winterfell as the North. They’ve made changes with the Winterfell animation every season to reflect the damage its undergone, but the harpy atop of the Meereen pyramid is still sitting there… I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.
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Game of Thrones Recap: Kill the Boy

When the episode is called “Kill the Boy,” well, this could have been a much darker episode than it actually was. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up new material for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.
fire chandileires...i can't spell

Missandei watches over Grey Worm’s body, he’s probably still alive. I’m not sure how they lit those fire chandeliers, slaves?, but it looks cool. It looks like Barristan is taking a nap on a peculiar stone bed, Barristan the Old needs to rest up so he can wake up at the crack of dawn… I mean if he’s still alive in the books and there are no stone googly eyes on him then there’s no way he’s actually dead. No way! Daenerys isn’t even wearing black to his funeral… or the traditional Meereenese topless dress of mourning. Dany please!
Hizdahr – “Is this a bad time? I don’t think this would have happened if the fighting pits were open…just saying.”
I’ve written 14 of these now and I still have to look up the correct spelling for his name every time.
Daenerys – “Barristan the bold they called him… he died in an alley, butchered by cowards.”
Killing off such a important character this early…bold strategy Benioff and Weiss. I expect a certain grizzly bear will take over Barristan’s responsibilities down the road or the show will just go in a different direction entirely with the Meereen plotline.
Daario – “Let’s pull everyone back to the pyramid, then clean the city out.”
Whoa there buddy, maybe you should pull back. He wants to slaughter everyone in the city. Harsh.
Daenerys – “I’d rather round up all the leaders of the great families.”
Hizdahr – “… But I’m the leader of my family…I’m sorry for requesting to reopen the pits earlier!”
What happened with this guy? Wasn’t he on her small council? Now it’s just Daario?
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Game of Thrones Recap: Sons of the Harpy

I loved the Dorne animation in the introduction, I believe that’s the first time they used it. The show runners are promoting a strong snake theme for Dorne… I wouldn’t be surprised if Voldermort was Dornish. I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up anything new for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

This random fisherman just got in after a long hard day at sea…and gets punched in the face. Jorah drops 2 coins on his unconscious body, a fair exchange for stealing his boat. Tyrion’s small size makes him as easy as kidnapping a child, but Jorah used wine instead of candy to lure Tyrion into his boat. At least he’s not in a box.

i'm totes betraying you later
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Game of Thrones Recap: The Wars to Come

boltonfell

Season 5 is finally upon us! The Winterfell animation had a Bolton logo, I know it’s a new season and I should be happy, but that made me sad. I may have spelled every name wrong at least once during my first run through, it’ll take a while before I fall back into form.  I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up anything new for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.
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The Jinx: What did I just Watch?

jinx skinny

The Jinx is a HBO documentary examining millionaire recluse Robert Durst and a string of murders that mysteriously followed him around. Okay it’s not that mysterious, but it is creepy, disturbing, and oddly addicting.

It’s similar to the podcast Serial, probably, I’ve never actually listened to Serial, but I’m sure it’s similar. I haven’t seen too many documentaries, something I should change, but I recently saw I Know That Voice and that was really enjoyable because I watch a ton of cartoons. If you want something more lighthearted, then watch that, it’s fantastic. I don’t watch shows like CSI because murder and blood makes me uncomfortable, but much like the voice of the title character, The Jinx hypnotically keeps my attention despite the subject matter. If this documentary has taught me anything it’s that money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy freedom.

If you haven’t watched this documentary and want to watch it in the future then stop reading this review, it’s better to watch this with as little information as possible. I went into this not knowing anything and I feel like knowing the ending could spoil the ride.

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Game of Thrones Recap: Breaker of Chains

I’ve read the books, but I won’t spoil anything by bringing up anything new for show watchers, but I will make references to the book. There will be spoilers for this episode though, duh.

Just in case we forgot Joffrey was dead, well, he’s still dead.sansa walked right out, no porblem Sansa has like a 5 second, and by like I mean literally, head start before Cersei barks orders to reprimand Sansa, even Tywin declares that no one can leave the city right after, but she does exactly that. She just walks right out of wedding and out the city. Good thing the streets were empty in the most populated city in the Seven Kingdoms…was everyone at the wedding? Continue reading