Flash Recap: The Nuclear Man

Bare – “How does this superhero get ready for a date?”
Quickly? At super speed?
Joe – “You change one more time I’m gonna shoot you.”
Classic Joe. I’m no fashion expert, but giving a thumbs up to a vest isn’t good advice.
Barry tips the flower lady $5 for one flower. He must be making bank as CSI.
Linda – “Punctual.”
Bare – “Yeah that’s what my friends call me…”
I guess she’s worth being on time for.
Linda – “Is that lonely looking flower for me?”
Barry – “Is this dumb? I thought about getting a bouquet, but then I thought that was weird.”
That is weird, but one flower is weird too.
Linda – “No, it’s awesome.”
Barry only gets away with this awkward gesture because lightning gave him abs! This wouldn’t work for average looking people.

Linda – “I told you these were the spiciest tacos in Central City.”
Barry – “Yeah you weren’t bluffing…”
Of the possible places to take a first date, this could be the worst choice. I’m avoiding restaurants famous for their spicy tacos for multiple reasons.
Cisco interrupts his date.
Bare – “I’m on a date, can’t the cops get this one?”
Why can’t the cops get this one again? Any metahumans involved here? I don’t care if they robbed a little old lady, let Barry have fun for once.

Linda – “Why hasn’t anyone snatched you up yet?”
He’s still single because despite his super speed nice guys finish last… and he’s a nerd.
She answers her cellphone on a date, not cool Linda.
Joe interrupts his date to ask for help with a suicidal jumper because this problem can only be solved with super powers.
Eddie – “Please, you have everything to live for.”
Jumper – “No I don’t!”
Hehe, and who says suicide can’t be funny?
I think Mr. Incredible saved a suicidal jumper, but then was sued for doing so because the jumper did not want to be saved. Saving this guy is a slippery slope Bare, this caused the public to turn on supers in The Incredibles

She doesn’t notice Barry’s absence and goes in for the kiss.
Bare – “What was that for?”
Linda – “To see if I wanted a second date.”
Cute, I like this girl more and more.
Bare – “And?”
Linda – “Let me see one more time.”
Damn this girl is smooth; I feel like she has better chemistry than Iris and Barry do already.

Add Concordance Research to the list of large science labs in Central City.
Firestorm – “Quentin Quayle.”
It’s almost like Quentin’s parents wanted their son to grow up as a nerd.
“We were classmates once remember? We protested the war, make love, not napalm.”
Wow that’s corny, I don’t blame him for trying to forget that.
“I need you to help me.”
He then kills his friend…well severely burns him. What did Firestorm need help with? Burning people?

Barry – “She was so cool; we’re going on another date tonight.”
Hooray for Bare!
Comic Relief – “Aren’t you worried about moving too fast?”
Double meaning speed puns!
Somehow they begin discussing how Barry’s super speed could make him the “fastest” man alive. You know the game where you add “in bed” to the end of fortune cookies to make them funny? Like “you will live a successful life…in bed” Well for Barry, “I am the fastest man alive…in bed.” I should add “in bed” to Barry’s opening monologues to spice them up.
Also there’s a second floor in this coffee place?
Cisco – “I got to go, I have to help out a friend.”
Wait a second, Cisco doesn’t have any friends. He’s lying!
Iris – “Linda seems great and you’re great. So great.”
This great girl is great with words.

Joe and Cisco team up to investigate Mrs. Allen’s murder…by looking at Barry’s old house 15 years later. Joe knocks on the door, 1 second later a cougar answers it.
Joe – “Hi I’m Detective West and this is Cisco no title.”
Did she not know they were coming?
Cougar – “My name is Sherry, like the drink.”
She’s quicker on her feet than I would be. My name is Kevin, like that guy from the Office.
If two men want to come into your house to investigate a 15 year old homicide they’re either drug dealers, in porn, or ghosts. Either way don’t let them in.

Dr. Wells – “It appears letting Ronnie roam free is no longer an option.”
Wait, was there a save him option they didn’t go with? Ignoring him was option A?
Caitlin – “It’s not even Ronnie, it’s Martin Stein walking around in his body…like a vampire.”
Vampires suck blood, what is she even trying to say here?
Barry – “Why isn’t it the other way around again?”
Good question Bare.
Dr. Wells – “Simple Darwinism…”
*sigh. Somehow Ronnie’s spectral-energy-face getting shot into Stein’s body, while Ronnie’s body is presumably either still behind that blast door or vaporized, results in Stein’s mind having significant control over Ronnie’s body… And Stein’s body is missing? Darwinism!

Flashback
Barry and Stein met briefly on a train before the explosion. This may have been the last time Barry ever needed to use a train.
Barry – “Albert Einstein once said…”
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination…in bed.
I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious…in bed.
Albert Einstein had some good quotes, I couldn’t pick just 1.
Stein – “Wearing stripes with plaid becomes easy.”
They’re really not making this up? I had to Google it, it checks out.
“I thought people your age didn’t read actual books anymore.”
Does rereading the A Song of Ice and Fire series once a year count? Is he referencing an Einstein book or the Dr. Wells book in Barry’s hands?
Barry – “Oh I’m the only one.”
Who reads books. In the world.
“I’m a CSI; I work for Central City Police Department.”
Stein – “Really? You look too young for that.”
Thanks for pointing it out Einstein! Seriously though, Barry’s really young for his job.

Barry – “STAR Labs is helping the CCPD look into your husband’s disappearance Mrs. Stein.”
How long does it take before a disappearance case turns into a homicide investigation? Semi-serious question.
Clarissa – “Please, call me Clarissa…in bed.”
Barry’s killing it with the ladies this episode.

Dr. Wells is jealous of Stein’s awards, but maybe he’s just secretly jealous of Stein’s alive wife.
Clarissa has seen Dead Fiancé before and explains it all to the nerd patrol. Apparently he’s been spying on her, but it’s okay because he gave off a warm familiar feeling.

Flashback
Mirror symbolism happens every time a character is lost or confused. Steinnie discovers he’s in a younger more attractive body, but doesn’t start rejoicing. The actor playing Dead Fiancé delivers all his lines while shivering. Maybe it’s bad acting, but shouldn’t Firestorm be immune to cold?

Dr. Wells – “Both these men feel the need to protect the women they love.”
I just realized this was the Valentine’s Day episode, the plot makes so much sense now. It explains why they threw in Cougar for the Joe and Cisco scenes.
“We’ll do a stakeout.”
Barry – “I guess I could cancel my date.”
Earlier in the episode Bare stopped a robbery in the blink of an eye, this shouldn’t cost him the entire night. Isn’t this more of a talking job anyway? Caitlin should be enough.

Cisco uses his super nerd light to search for clues, but unsurprisingly doesn’t find anything for a murder that happened 15 years ago. I’m more surprised his super light didn’t find any bodily fluids in Cougar’s home.
Cougar – “Can I get you boys something to drink? Water, soda, a glass of me?”
Because her name’s Sherry!
Comic Relief – “I will not judge you…in bed”
Tame that cougar Joe! It is Valentine’s Day after all.
“I just think maybe it’s been too long and everything’s different.”
This is the most logical line he’s said all season.
Joe – “But what about that suspicious mirror!”
*sigh, just solve the case already.
The sparks from the 2 speedsters allowed the mirror to take photographs of the murder 15 years ago… sure. I just hope my mirror doesn’t take photographs of me without my knowledge.

Bare – “Hey, you look great.”
Iris also used great to describe Linda… he still has her on his mind.
“Is it really lame that I live at home?”
Remember that single flower you brought her? This is worse.
Linda – “No, not at all, I still live with my parents.”
Barry – “Really?!”
He’s so excited when he says this.
Linda – “No, that would be so lame.”
Barry was living on his own 2 episodes ago, talk about the worst time to get a girlfriend.
Barry – “Here’s the plan, a dinner reservation, then a round of mini golf followed by a jazz club where my foster dad used his connections to get us in to see Mal Duncan. And if you’re not sick of me by then we can get froyo.”
He shoved 4 dates into one, he is going too fast! But it does sound like a pretty awesome date.
Linda – “Or…”
A much better date. Things are moving fast!

Dr. Wheels – “His home is Clarissa, and we all want to go home again.”
Hold up Wells, she told Barry to call her Clarissa, she’s still Mrs. Stein to you.
“My work isn’t finished until we bring them both home.”
This is a nice line, but a few scenes later he wants to kill him.
The Human Torch uses the most conspicuous way to come home, but only they notice in this suburban neighborhood.

Their shirts are off, music is playing, and the fireplace is on. Pretty romantic, I’m 2nd hand swooned.
Linda – “Whoa, what’s wrong that felt amazing.”
Barry, Barry, Barry!
I don’t think being the “fastest” man alive is a problem if he can turn himself into a human vibrator.
Barry – “I just got a little excited.”
Linda – “I hope so.”
Hehe, she gets good lines.
Barry – “I’m a little worried about moving too fast.”
He said with his shirt off and a girl on top of him.
Linda – “It’s okay, I hate slow.”
She’s Barry’s perfect woman, her only flaw being she’s not his step sister.
His phone rings. Don’t pick up that phone, some things can wait Bare! He reads the text.
Barry – (One of you nerds better be on fire when I get there. I’m leaving a lot to help you guys.)
Barry – “No one in their right mind would leave you.”
He leaves.

What’s the point of having super speed if you can’t come back in like 30 seconds?

Semi-serious question, does Barry have a spare super suit at home or does he always run to STAR Labs to change?
Barry – “I’m not here to hurt you so if we could just talk this over peacefully…in bed.”
Didn’t this guy save Barry before? Firestorm carries Barry high in the sky, but doesn’t burn him because Barry’s suit was formerly a fireman suit. He then drops Barry from really high only to catch him right before he hits the ground and throw him into the nerd van. I’m really not sure why he’s attacking Barry.
Caitlin gets him to stop fighting, maybe this should have been Plan A.

Imagine if Cisco did all this work and it’s just Cougar looking in the mirror a 1,000 times. Stop trying to explain the mirror photographs with fake science and get to the 3D light show already! Good thing the mirror photos don’t show any furniture or anything else in the room. Flash and Reverse Flash are in color, but momma Allen and young Barry are in Princess Leia “you’re my only hope” blue.

Joe – “Can you play it again, slower.”
He wants something to go slower? We don’t hear that often on the Flash.
Watching this projection screen of the murder leads to Joe finding blood on the wall. You’re telling me the super nerd light couldn’t find the blood before?
Serious question, do people just put new wallpaper over old wallpaper?
The CSI 15 years ago didn’t notice this?! No wonder Barry made it his life mission to take over CSI.

Barry visits Linda at work; she was writing an article on the Combines, a Keystone City hockey team.
Linda – “They were up 2 nothing, but then they blew it.”
Unlike when Barry fought a man who could control fire, he gets burned pretty hard here.
Barry – “Wait, we’re not talking about hockey anymore are we?”
I don’t think they were ever talking about hockey.
“I’m sorry for leaving you, I’m not that kind of guy.”
Not many guys are that kind of guy.
Linda – “Tell me Barry Allen, did I make the right choice?”
Either Barry’s going to eventually break up with Linda because he can’t be a hero and a boyfriend at the same time or because of Iris. I like these two together even if it’s a doomed relationship.

Linda – “Can I ask you a question?”
Worlds are colliding!
“Has he even actually dated anyone before because he’s simultaneously surprisingly good at it and really really bad at it.”
They’ve been on one and a half dates, but fair assessment.
Iris wants to ruin this relationship and she’s obvious about it.

Dead Fiancé does not live in a van down by the river.
Barry placed a tracker on him during their last fight and that’s how they find him. Sure.
This guy just accidentally burned his friend, maybe wear some fireproof clothes when talking to him.
Clarissa – “What’s my favorite color?”
Is she trying to recover a lost password?
Steinnie – “You could never decide so you chose stripes.”
Does she wear her favorite color with plaid?
Why wasn’t talking to him with his wife Plan A again?

Barry – “Well we got them, now what?”
Maybe some sort of Hannah Montana scenario?
“I think it’s theoretically possible to split him, but who knows.”
So is there another body in him? I think this book might help.
Who cut his hair?
I can almost feel the energy between Dr. Snow and Ronstein meeting again.

Linda and Barry talk on the phone.
She called the police to check up on him, maybe their relationship is moving too fast.
Barry – “Wait, who told you I was hung up on Iris?”
Come on Bare.
Barry confronts Iris at work… the same place Linda just called from, but she’s nowhere in sight.
Barry – “Why did you tell Linda I had feelings for you?”
Well I mean he still does, but not cool Iris.
Iris – “I didn’t tell her that! …Did I tell her that?”
Iris plays the dumb card.
Barry – “It sort of feels like you don’t want to be with me and you don’t want anyone else to be with me either.”
That’s exactly what’s happening.

Iris – “Do you want me to talk to her?”
Barry – “No, no, no, absolutely not. Don’t talk to her.”
An appropriate amount of “no”s.
Barry – “I don’t have those feelings for you anymore.”
Iris – “Yeah I know.”
Both of them are liars!

They have two different blood samples, that’s one convenient blood splatter. What are the odds that it’s just some random person’s blood? 0%?
“One blood type is A positive, the other is a rare AB negative.”
AB negative is rare, apparently only 1 percent of the population has it.
Cisco – “You think Dr. Wells killed Barry’s mom?”
Joe shouldn’t have told Cisco, I wonder who Cisco will side with?
“He’s not a murderer.”
Joe- “That’s what they all say…right before they get murdered.”

Dr. Snow – “Ronnie used to always run warm.”
I think the word she’s looking for to describe her husband is “hot.”
His shirt needs to be off for them to take his body temperature in case we forgot this show was on the CW.
He remembers waterfalls because that’s where Dead Fiancé proposed to her. Was that where he took her for their 1-year anniversary during Chess Jerk’s flashback? Cute callback.

Dr. Wells – “I’m worried if his temperature continues to rise he’ll become nuclear…in bed.”
His temperature was at 108. You’re telling me a steady rise from 108 becomes nuclear in less than a day?! Also when did fire = nuclear?
Dr. Snow – “How long does he have?”
Dr. Wells – “If his temperature keeps rising at his current pace, no more than a couple of hours.”
Good thing they got to him today then.
“A nuclear explosion of this magnitude would level an entire city.”
We all know how much Dr. Wells adheres to explosion safety, he’s just jealous of Stein’s awards and wants to kill him!
Caitlin – “I already lost Ronnie once; I’m not going to lose him again. You said we had a couple of hours? Use them.”
There’s the fire I was looking for Snow, tell him girl!
Cisco – “You don’t think we should kill Ronnie right?” (Maybe he is a murderer…Joe was right.)
Dr. Wells – “Stay here Cisco, I have to go stare at my evil suit.”

Barry – “Can I get you anything to drink?”
Steinnie – “This body’s taste buds are different than my own, perhaps I’m a light beer man now.”
No body is a light beer man by choice. I accidentally added a space between nobody, but my spelling error still sort of works in this scenario, go figure.
Steinnie remembers meeting Barry on the train. I also remember every brief conversation I have with strangers on trains, but I also don’t talk to strangers on trains.
“Einstein was not only brilliant; he had a great sense of humor.”
Maybe this guy loves Einstein so much because their names are so similar? So not only was Einstein smarter than me, but he’s funnier than me too.
“Any man who drives safely while kissing a pretty girl is not giving the pretty girl the attention she deserves.”
Okay they just have to be making this shit up now…damnit Einstein. 

Inspired by Einstein, Barry goes to win the pretty girl back…that doesn’t happen everyday.
Barry – “If you don’t agree to go on another date with me, I will eat this ghost chili pepper.”
Seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do.
Linda – “You’re bluffing.”
She just wanted him to eat that pepper.
Barry – “I never bluff.”
This bluff banter is a callback to their first date, cute stuff.

Fun fact, during production they told actor Grant Gustin it was a normal pepper to get him to eat it, but it was actually a ghost chili pepper. Every fun fact I’ve used writing these recaps has been fake.
Puking in front of pretty girls, that’s how you get them to like you. They kiss and her mouth should totally be on fire after kissing Barry! No one cleans up the puke either!

How many secret guns does Wells have?!
Wells goes from getting his gun ready to kill Ronstein to changing his mind and deciding to save him in a character motivation change that comes from a peculiar pause of inspiration.
Ronnie leaves without any of the four nerds noticing.

Dr. Snow – “I found him, he’s in the badlands, 30 miles south of Central City.”
I guess Barry’s tracker is still on him…compared to sleeping under a bridge, the badlands ironically might be a step up living situation wise.
Dr. Wells and Cisco make a quantum splicer in about 30 seconds. The bigger plot hole here is how no one asked Wells how he got the materials for this thing. “Hey where’d you get those tachyon particles we used to make this seeing as Reverse Flash stole the only known device?”
Dr. Snow – “I have to go with him; Barry wouldn’t know how to use this…in bed!”
And why would she know? The other 2 created it.
Cisco analyzes the blood on STAR Lab computers.
Comic Relief – “It’s Barry’s blood, but from the future.”
When my doctor conducts a blood test, “It’s Kevin’s blood, from yesterday.” Also now the characters in the show know what the viewers have known all along.

Good thing they catch up to Ronstein before he blows his brains out. Looks like Barry’s Mr. Punctual again.
Ronstein – “You guys shouldn’t be here, it’s too late for me and I’m going to end it.”
Snow – “We can separate you.”
Ronstein – “Okay, maybe start with that.”
So they continue to explain how they’ll save him instead of saving him. My only question is if they split who gets the fire powers? Also shouldn’t his body temperature be approaching heat levels high enough to effect his surroundings?
Snow and Ronstein kiss, I think this counts as Stein cheating on his wife.
Ronstein – “That was from him.”
Sure, *wink wink*.
Good thing they had a scientist there to put the quantum splicer on Ronstein’s chest, Barry would have never figured that out…
It worked!
Wait never mind, he explodes.
Barry pretty much outruns a nuclear explosion, something Dr. Wells said wasn’t possible.

General Krabs already knows it’s Firestorm and not a nuclear bomb detonation or anything not related to metahumans. Who does this guy think he is? Barry during his CSI investigations?